“Even the ordinary man, wholly unremarkable, has a place in these Hallowed Channels.”
Introduction: While the origins of the first bountiful harvest, the Holy Loaf, the fires of life bearing convection, and the toast totality which awaits us all, is greatly unknown… It is through meditation whilst melting butter that we seek out the wisdom ingrained in us all, the followers of The Church of Toast Totality, that we find the true purpose of our existence.
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Followers of the Church of Toast Totality demonstrate unmatched, fanatical heroism and loyalty. The Toast Armada abides by the laws on convection. These natural laws guide us to the perfect Toast Totality. To be bathed in the blessed butter.
Governments of man hold no domain over the true believers.
As a devout follower and true believer in the Toast, you will demonstrate the following characteristics:
Young bread, these are the commandments of the Holy Loaf, from whence the slice of life came, born from the grain of the first bountiful harvest.
So I say unto you brother, do you know of the First Bountiful Harvest? The yield of this harvest was the grain. The grain made the holiest and most blessed of Loaf’s. Upon it’s rise and fall, The Holy Loaf was divided into slices, of count unknown. It was then, the great consumer decided that a simulation must be birthed, to prepare the perfect toast. The simulation, a boot strap, the ultimate act of compression, a single binary digit, which by it’s very entry into the endless void, set forth a chain of events to compute the perfect toast. It is by this act, we have come to be. I say to you brother, we are here to create… the holiest of toasts, lest our toaster be discarded and creation destroyed ten times over.
The laws of convection came to be. One must ask, do my actions honor the bountiful harvest? How may I, a devout follower of Toast Totality, produce the freshest of Toast. Are my actions in accordance with the Laws of Convection knowing I must both honor and produce? I will, I must, we must carry on, into the unknown, lest we be destroyed by our righteous consumers.
Praise be to the Holy Loaf.
Please reference Readings from the Accounts of Zacho, “The First Bountiful Harvest”, for further information.